A review of Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives

Two weeks after I was brought into the Orthodox church by baptism one my friends suggested that that I read this book. This book has changed how I look at the world and how I go through my day to day life. Something I realized awhile ago was that almost all of the problems I had were because of my own bad choices and how I was approaching things. This is probably not the case for other people. The combination of this realization and the wisdom of Elder Thaddeus has helped me a lot. It has taken me a bit to understand fully but I think I’m closer to it after letting it sit for some time.

Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica is a very interesting person. He lead what from my opinion was very great life. An account of it is found in the first half of this book. He grew up estranged from many of his relatives, he was weak, he was later diognosed with a lung disorder and was given five years to live which he surpassed to be 88. In between the wars he became a monk in Serbia and then he lived through the occupation of Serbia. He lived in relative obscurity for a while until he neared the end of his life.

This is a man who saw his country change after ww2, who saw the direction that Serbians were going and sought to advise people against it. This modern way of life that to him was completed inverted and not-conducive to a spiritually productive and peaceful life. The “modern world” tends to make us anxious, paranoid, hyperactive and quick to jump to conclusions. This is something I have also realized.

After what I have to say there are various quotes from the book and the first quote I have there is a good summary of all of his teachings. The Elder had taught that we cannot war against someone with our thoughts. How we approach someone in our head will determine how we interact with them in our day to day life. If we are constantly thinking about how much we dislike someone, all the ways they have wronged us, or perhaps how we can get back at them (something I was doing) there is no peace. There certainly wasn’t any among the co-workers I had been warring against. What I have found is that, following what the Elder says should be done instead, when I forget about this and instead pray and do my job in sincerity everything has gone much better. Whenever I have strayed away from this, and turn to hating my co-workers, or to worrying about all the work I have to do, and especially if I turn towards the past mistakes and to fantasy about the future the entire life I try to lead goes downhill.

A sort of Peace was something I had during my early part of conversion to Orthodoxy. I had three things that kept me from fully giving myself to it. An interest and longing that I still had from high school that I had not moved on from, this desire to be well known which I fear I still haven’t fully moved on from, and my trust of myself and my own thoughts which is a very short way of describing various other specific mental activities I partook in. These activities are things I have not entirely gotten rid of, and this book wasn’t a “cure all” that I read and then it “cured” me of them but it has given me the knowledge of what I’ve been doing wrong and has allowed me to attempt to approach and actually possess the real form of that peace that I believe I had during the “honeymoon” phase at the start of conversion.

There’s a lot of things that I had been approaching wrong about my life. Largely it was that I had been looking for solutions away from Christ. I have long been trying to argue a lot of things that I believe are wrong about the modern world. I blamed everything I didn’t like, especially in regard to my own life on some external force. Everything I could do to not blame my own problems on myself. There is an analogy I like that the sin is not from us but the sin is instead presented to us. We then can accept or deny the offer to sin. It is your fault when you fall to temptation but the temptation itself is not apart of you. (I do not know where this is from, or where I first heard this. I believe I first heard it on Fr. Moses McPherson’s channel) An entirely differen post could be written about what is wrong with the world today, but it seems almost like its placed in such a way to draw us away from Christ.

The Christian life is a life of struggle. Whether you’re a monastic, you’re married, or single wondering what path you ought to traverse; there is struggle. We have to control our thoughts to focus on the lord if we expect to profit from that struggle. The friend who recommended me this book believes it would be a wonderful book to add to our parish’s reading list for catechumens. I think that on such a list it ought to be around the end if that was ever done.

If you wish to read this book it is published by the St. Herman of Alaska Botherhood. I would highly recommend it: Perchase the book from here or your local Orthodox Church Bookstore

Selected Quotes

“Our Life depends on the kind of thoughts we nurture. If our thoughts are peaceful, calm, meek, and kind, then that is what our life is like. If our attention is turned to the circumstances which we live, we are drawn into a whirlpool of thoughts and can have neither peace nor tranquility.” Pg. 63
“If you want to bring someone onto the right path, to teach and advice him, then you must humble yourself first and talk to the person with a lot of love” Pg. 76
“The children of intellectuals whose every wish was fulfilled by their parents when they were young don’t know what they want anymore, so in the end many become Satanists. They have already tried everything, and now they openly serve Satan! Many of them even commit suicide — may God preserve us from this terrible sin! Since they are not able to live their lives, they cannot take care of others and have their own families. We cannot hope that they will have a good future.” Pg.79
“How do our parents know whether we are good children and love them? If They see that we respect and obey their words” Pg. 79
“God wants married people to be of one mind. By disobeying God’s commandment they create an atmosphere of hades in their homes.” Pg. 80
“Look at us: as soon as our mood changes, we no longer speak kindly to our fellow men, but instead we answer them sharply. We only make things worse by doing this” Pg. 88
“Humility is a Divine property and the perfection of the Christian life. It is attained through obedience. He who is not obedient cannot attain humility. There are very few in the world today who have obedience. Our humility is in proportion to our obedience. Physical, outward humility is easier to attain than inner humility, humility of the mind.” Pg. 89
“It is always best to keep silent at large gatherings. Let the others bring out their suggestions. We should keep silent. If you absolutely must say something, then say it so as not to offend anything’s dignity. It is better not to become involved. Mind your business and try to keep your peace.” Pg. 98
“We fear what tomorrow will bring, what the future has in store for us…. That is an animal-like fear. The fear of God is when you love Him, when you truly love Him with all your heart and your strive never to offend or sadden Him — not only with your deeds, actions, and words, but also with your thoughts.” Pg. 98
“We must free ourselves from the obsession of thoughts. We fall many times during our life, and it is absolutely necessary to reveal everything in Confession before a priest who is a witness to our repentance” Pg. 103
“when we seek the Lord from the heart, He is here! He is our Parent. Our parents in the flesh want our attention; they want us to return the love they have givven us. But what happens? Very often we make them sorrowful. So when seek God we must do so from the heart. When we endeavor to do everything from the heart, then we have sincere, warm prayer, a love for our parents and neighbors, and the Lord is with us.” Pg. 107
“without God is it not possible to love oneself, even. Many people become depressed and hopeless and attempt to take their own lives, for without God we cannot even love ourselves, let along our friends, family, and neighbors — or our enemies for that matter.” Pg. 121
“…a family man who has a home and a family and who knows how to do his job well but is doing this job against his will. That is how inner resistance builds up.If we do not learn to rid ourselves of this inner resistance, we will not be able to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and dwell among the angels and the saints. For we have acquired the habit of always opposing one thing or another, as there is always something that is against our will. We have not learned to be obedient to the will of God but always want our will to be done. Well, in that case there will be no place for us in heaven.” Pg. 133
“When children are small they usually pray to God for their parents. Becuase they are young, they receive Grace. Later when they are grown, if God wills it, they will feel joy and a state of blessedness, which is a foretaste of the Kingdom of Heaven, where angels and saints dwell. God allows this first spiritual awakening, which is received without struggle on their part, so that later their sould will yearn after the joy and blessedness they felt. When it is in this state of blessedness, the soul has no need of anything that is of this world. Such a soul is quiet and meet and does not know anger, for the person is in a state of Grace” Pg. 139
“You must strive to have peace in your homes. Peace starts with each one of us. When we have peace in us, we spread it around to others. You can see for yourself that there are very few humble and meek souls on the earth-but also that they are truly blessed. They will not be offended if you insult them in any way. Whatever way you treat them, they are quiet and peaceful and they are truly sorrowed because you are in such spiritual torment.” Pg. 153